Once we’ve been involved with any 12-step recovery program for a good amount of time, we start to gain confidence. We’re more familiar with the program. We feel better, our minds aren’t cloudy anymore, and AA starts to look a little bit easier. And so, the 12 steps of the 12 steps:

1. I don’t need to be here.
2. What am I doing here?
3. This isn’t so bad.
4. Actually, the coffee’s awful.
5. Might as well get a sponsor.
6. I haven’t held hands this often since grade school field trips.
7. This book doesn’t even have a wizard in it.
8. I hate everything about my sponsor.
9. That joke about “suggestions” and “parachutes” is getting stale.
10. Stacking these old, beat-up chairs is like playing Tetris.
11. You know, I’m kind of an expert on the big book.
12. Has it been six months already?